Unspoken Events Writings

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Thank you to all who have shared wonderful comments and feedback about us as hosts as well as about Unspoken Events party. It means a lot to us! 🙌🏼🖤

"Last night was my first time at an Unspoken Events party and I already can't wait to go back!"

"Thank you very much for hosting bingo night. My wife and I were very nervous about attending, but you were amazing hosts and everything was very comfortable. We met some great people, had some nice kinky chat here and there. 😊 we definitely will be attending more events in the future."

"You guys throw one HELL of a party! Thank you for all of your hard work to make it possible for everyone to indulge while in a safe sexy environment. Looking forward to the next one!"

"Your party's are tons of fun! Everyone’s so respectful and sweet. I’m very shy too but now that I’ve gone to a few it’s definitely so much fun to let my freak fly with other like minded people. I go every month so you’ll see me again soon (probably on the spanking bench tho 😊)"

"Such a great time! You guys are amazing hosts and you draw the most beautiful people. Thank you for another memorable party!"

"This was one of the best lifestyle house parties I've been to. Everyone was so welcoming from the hosts to the other guests, the vibes were chill and sexy, the space was beautiful and comfortable, and the music was great."

"You guys are seriously one of the nicest people! i love going to the parties and seeing you guys!"

"I have been to at least 4 of your events. Every experience was different but nothing short of amazing! We have both felt welcomed and comfortable right from the get. It’s a space to be your true self without judgement, without fear, without feeling uncomfortable. People should attend and see for themselves."

"Thank you for all the work you put into hosting such a safe and sexy event in your lovely home!"

"You guy's throw the best party's around BY FAR! We'll be back next month!"

"I went to your September party. I chatted with someone that saw I RSVP’d and we met when we parked and walked in together but there was absolutely zero chemistry there. I was also petrified of talking to anyone cause I’m ridiculously shy. I’m shocked I had the guts to even go alone lol. But I actually met my partner there and while we didn’t do anything but chat idly there, we hit it off a week or so afterward and it’s been great since. So thank you for creating a safe environment where like-minded people can get together and let go of their inhibitions and honestly, unapologetically be themselves! Truly, I appreciate it."

"Your event was our first ever party and I can’t imagine having had a better or more comfortable first experience!"

“Thank you so much for hosting such a lovely party! It was very nice to meet you both. I especially wanted to thank you for creating such a welcoming environment that felt very safe. I've been to quite a few private play parties at houses and numerous lifestyle clubs and this was one of the most chill but fun vibes I've experienced in a while. I know hosting parties is a lot of work and I just wanted to make sure you know that your efforts were much appreciated!”

"Thank you for a wonderful evening. 10/10 vibes, will return! I appreciate your hospitality and thoughtfulness in organization. Lovely crowd with some familiar faces, great hosts, and perfect set up. Look forward to the next one I can get to!"

"Hey guys, just wanted to drop you a line to thank you for hosting last night's party.
The work you both put in to provide the space goes above and beyond! It was a respectful environment, chill, clean and just overall very welcoming and friendly. Thank you, I'll definitely be back again soon!"

"It’s so easy as humans to take things for granted and miss what it takes from someone else to provide a space as you do for others. I didn’t share with you but I’m one of those guests who experienced a healing and life changing night at your party back in February. It was an unforgettable night where I met people that became instant friends who are in my life still. I haven’t been able to make it back for another party yet but I do hope to. Thank you for all that you do!"

"Wow. That is wonderful information! I am a member of several sex clubs in Manhattan and the way you operate is top-notch. Looking forward to joining you at your next event. I am a Dom with portable play equipment so I may bring some of it. I've also conducted demonstrations at one of the New York City clubs"

“I absolutely loved it! Thank you all so much! I had a great time, the atmosphere and the company were perfect! Such a fun, safe, and inclusive environment, salute!”

"I love your party's! The vibes you give off is so amazing. You where able to pull this shy guy from out of sitting in the corner not knowing what to do to becoming one of the life's of the party. You made me feel safe and invited and went out of your way to make sure I was able to have a safe and enjoyable time. Your events have become my favorite place. Thank you so much for all you do for everyone."

“Thank you soo much @Unspoken-Events for being such perfect hosts. The play spaces, lighting, spread, and security were on point. I am especially appreciative of how accommodating you were even relocating furniture outside so that we had a place to set up. Haha I know the traveling sideshow setup took up more space than expected but we loved setting the house on fire without literally setting the house on fire haha. Thank yous for hosting such a memorable night and what a great diverse crowd too. I love that.”

"I was nervous my first time as well but its a great vibe with great ppl and great hosts"

"I love your parties... i still remeber my first one being shy and off in the corner with hubby you checked on us to make sure we were good and by my second party i was up on your St. Andrew's Cross. Thank you for making a safe space to be myself."

"Appreciate and respect you guys. You are fantastic hosts. Sincere welcome at the door and immediately gave us comfort experiencing our first event. We are so excited to enjoy our first house party with you. Honored to be your guests. See everyone on Saturday!"

“This was our first party and the hosts made us feel very welcomed and safe! Best part is that you can tell they really enjoy and love what they do. We will be back”

"Thank you guys for hosting! You put together an amazing sexy event, so many nice people, great vibe, a night of sexual energy with mutual respect. Met some very cool people, made new connections and looking forward to the upcoming events!."

"It was a great night this newbie felt welcomed."

"I have an outgoing personality however shy to start. When i asked a question it was answered educationally even with out feeling looked down on. Great company. I would go again."

“Love love love how you guys give back to the community. You don’t see that on this site”

"Thank you for having me and my partner at the party last nite-we actually attended with a good friend of ours and his crew and another couple of my friends. I enjoyed it very much-you have made a great space there and I felt very comfy…your security guard is spot on just by his demeanor/presence."

“You gave me a 1st time experience too, I somehow had never been on a cross before! Hope to visit and see you again soon!”

"I want to give a big shout out to the owners of @Unspoken-Events for having such great and safe events for people in the kink community. They have helped me feel comfortable and safe enough at their events that I was able to finely open up and find someone to help me explore my kinks."

"If you're looking for a safe place to have fun and explore your kinks and desires, you have found it in an Unspoken Events party! I have now been to three events and the hosts have made me feel comfortable and safe so I was finally able to open up and explore my kinks and have fun. Thank you guy's!"

“Very relaxed yet sexy atmosphere.. I felt relaxed and had a fun time”

“I’ve been to many parties over the years and this one is by far the best vibe and most fun I’ve had! Themes are cool and they do a great job hosting and making sure everyone is comfortable and included..I can’t wait for next month”

“I’ve been in the lifestyle about a year. We went to the a lifestyle club/party and It was very uncomfortable for us especially because my husband is trans. They weren’t super accepting of that. So we lay pretty low. I think that was my biggest concern—Is that we find an LGBTQ friendly spot. So thank you so much for having us . We really enjoyed ourselves and are honestly excited about coming back”

“Sexy, fun and it’s incredible how they open their home to everyone. Guests are respectful and they have a lot of regulars that attend”

“Love the hosts and the place. They put a lot of time and effort to ensure everyone has a fun time”

As the days go by, the adult lifestyle is becoming more and more popular. Many are searching for guidance on what to “expect” when attending an event for the first time. This writing is going to help you navigate the night and things to think about prior to entering the event.  Keep in mind, there are several types of events such as private house parties, hotel takeovers, SEX/BDSM clubs and other variations but we will be writing from a public venue standpoint, as that is where we host @Unspoken-Events parties and where we feel most comfortable directing from. Please feel free to apply this information to your overall lifestyle mindset. 

You may notice that we are not specifically stating "BDSM party", "KINK party" or “SWINGERS party.” This is because anyone living within the BDSM, Kink or ethical non-monogamy spaces are welcome. This includes anyone wanting to feel & dress sexy, voyeurs, exhibitioners, kinksters, swingers, Dom/sub/Switch, Sadist/Masochist, poly etc. Each of these categories can be broken down into a deeper level specific to the couple/person. Not all adult lifestylers are created equally. That’s the beauty of this lifestyle.

WHAT TO THINK ABOUT BEFORE HAND
You have officially found an event that you would like to attend but are feeling intimidated. The first recommendation would be to inquire about online forums such as a Fetlife group, social media, Whatsapp group chats or an event page. These platforms allow you to interact with those attending the event prior to actually showing up.  This is the time to make introductions and form connections. It takes the pressure off walking in blindly.  

If you are unable to locate an online forum, the next recommendation is to let the staff at the door know you are a first time visitor. They will give you some insight into the event and the atmosphere with an event tour. There are times when introductions can be made to more veteran attendees in hopes one can feel more included from the start. 
 

WHAT TO WEAR
This is one of the biggest questions asked. Us lifestylers love a theme! It’s always fun to dress accordingly as it brings the night to life a little more. This is your time to show your personality. The outfits are an expression of who you are. Join the fun and stand out!  If dressing in theme isn’t really appealing for you, please dress to impress. Do not come in sweats, sneakers, stained clothing, looking all raggy. Show us you want to be there and be part of the night. 
In addition to looking good, smell good too. Arriving clean, showered, groomed … it all goes a long way.

WHAT TO BRING
We recommend bringing a play bag. This bag should include protection (this is your responsibility), lube, toys if you use them, wipes, body spray, deodorant and gum or mints. Ladies, we always recommend sneakers or flats as well. The high heels are great and all, but once midnight comes, those feet turn into pumpkins lol. Perhaps bring a second outfit that is a bit more sporty sexy, transitioning into a more chill part of the night. This allows one to be a bit more loose and dance a little more. 

ENTERING THE EVENT FOR THE FIRST TIME
This is an intimidating feeling. Even for us, and we host events. We find each night always brings a bit of angst because you just don't know who will be in attendance. Will there be others you know or are you a lone ranger trying to fit in?  This brings me to the point of established relationships. You have to remember, there are all walks of life at the parties. Those that attend time after time who have established “their spot” in the party, the groups who have become acquainted over time and who have formed their own special sexy bonds. Then there are those who are brand spankin new with no home. This doesn’t mean you don’t fit in or others are cliquey, it's just that over time relationships have been established and in time, the same will happen for you. 

MANAGE YOUR CONSUMPTION
We all feel the anxiety of attending events so don’t over consume before arrival and certainly keep your wits about you while at the event. No one wants to manage an intoxicated person.  If we see that you are overly intoxicated, we will ask you and your party to leave. 

GETTING TO KNOW THE PARTY GOERS
Take the time to walk around, introducing yourself to others. If you spot a couple, approach the couple together. Do not wait until one of them walks off to have a conversation solo. By doing this, you show you do not have respect for both parties and that is a big NO NO. 
If you see someone you are interested in meeting but are unsure if they are partnered, approach delicately, asking what the relationship composition is. If it is stated that the person is in fact coupled, ask to meet the other half.  While you are browsing the environment, try not to stare or gawk. It's super uncomfortable and yes, absolutely noticeable. Do not follow people around the event either. Use your judgement and approach at the appropriate time. 

You have to remember, not everyone is at the party to play/swing so you have to be open minded and have clear communications when chatting so everyone is on the same page. You can never assume that just because a conversation is happening, that means you are allowed to touch or play will happen. These are just friendly conversations. If you feel you’d like to take things to the next level, you must have a clear conversation with all parties involved outlining boundaries and rules to ensure you are all on the same page. Get an ENTHUSIASTIC YES!!  CONSENT IS MANDATORY

PHOTOGRAPHY
Many events do not allow cell phones at all. If your event does allow you to have them, DO NOT record anyone at the event unless you have a very specific conversation gaining approval.  We have a professional photographer at our events. He has a station with a backdrop but also walks around snapping the crowd.  For the most part, he knows who the content creators are, but if at any point you do not want to be in a photo, just let him know. There is never an issue with speaking up.  If we see you recording anyone, as the host we will approach you. Do not give us a hard time, we are simply looking out for our guests. 

SEX IS ALL AROUND
Please be aware of your surroundings. Just because people are playing out in the open, does not mean that is your invitation to touch, penetrate or even be in close quarters. It is not your play space, it is theirs. If you are watching, watch from a reasonable distance and be mindful of any conversations you are having around the play scene. It becomes distracting and makes for an annoying situation.  It’s important to understand and know the event rules. Anyone who violates a rule or individual is immediately asked to leave. We have a zero tolerance rule, so even if you are a frequent visitor we will ask you to leave.  violates a rule or individual is immediately asked to leave. We have a zero tolerance rule, so even if you are a frequent visitor we will ask you to leave.  

CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELVES
We pride ourselves on having a warm welcoming environment. We do not want a mess around so please throw away your garbage, old drink cups and snack wrappers. If you are involved in a play scene, clean up the beds, your condoms & wipes. If you are using dungeon equipment (Bring your Own Tools), please use a sanitary pad on the spanking bench or massage table and wipe everything down with the cleaners provided. 

ENJOY THE NIGHT
Now that we’ve spoken through some of the top questions asked when visiting an event for the first time, the most important thing is to enjoy the night. Do not go in with expectations. Remember, what one sees on social media isn’t the true reality of an event.  You are not going to walk into a full on orgy. You are not going to walk into a party as a single guy and out of the gate bang 10 chicks. It’s just not how it happens. It’s a slow process that takes time and effort.

ADVENTURE AWAITS
It's time to get out there and explore your kinks and ethical non-monogamy in a way that works for you.

Peace✌🏼and Love 🖤

Unspoken Events

 A hotel takeover in the swinger/kink communities is an event where lifestyle organizers rent out an entire hotel or resort, creating a temporary, private, and secure "adult playground" exclusively for swingers, ethically non-monogamous couples, and adventurous adults. These events typically last for either one night or an entire weekend, transforming standard hotels into immersive environments featuring themed parties, pool scenes, and specialized playrooms, allowing for 24-48+ hours of, social, and, for many,, sexual activity.

Key Aspects of a Hotel Takeover

Total Exclusivity: The entire hotel—from the lobby to the rooms—is filled with like-minded people, eliminating the need to interact with "vanillas" (non-swingers).

Themed Parties & Entertainment: Organized activities usually include evening theme balls, DJ sets, and poolside parties.

Playrooms & "Open Doors": Designated, secure playrooms are often provided, but many attendees also decorate their own hotel rooms and keep doors open to invite others in, turning hallways into social "party floors".

Atmosphere: While highly sexualized, the atmosphere is often described as part "adult prom" or "fantasy camp," focusing on socializing, mingling, and, for some, exhibitionism or voyeurism.

Consent Culture: Despite the wild atmosphere, strict consent culture is paramount, with strong emphasis on respecting boundaries.

How It Differs from Other Events

Hotel Takeover vs. Swinger Club: Clubs are usually for a few hours. A takeover offers a full weekend of freedom without needing to leave to go to a separate hotel, and provides more opportunities to mingle during the day, not just at night.

Hotel Takeover vs. House Party: A house party is usually intimate and intense, often better for experienced swingers. A takeover is larger, more social, and often more forgiving for beginners, allowing them to "dip in and out" of the action.

Common Features

Safety & Privacy: The venue is secured by staff to ensure no outsiders enter.

Room Crawls: Organized, scheduled times to move from room to room to meet people and see different, creatively decorated setups.

Demographics: While they cater to all adults, these events can range from high-energy parties to more relaxed, relationship-focused gatherings.

Newbie Friendly: Takeovers are often considered a great place for new couples to start, as they allow for socializing without pressure to immediately engage in sexual acts.

Be sure to check out the Events section of our Fetlife page so you can see the next hotel takeover we're planning! We can't wait to party with you! 😉